Meeting Mum's New Boyfriend
When a new partner arrives, children, exes and the new person all need something different. Devon talks to a couple who introduced a stepdad slowly, and to a 19 year old who remembers it.
The Text You Should Not Send
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Show notes
This week at the gate
Devon still has the text in his drafts folder from June 2021. He reads it out. Then mediator Anika Sorensen explains why messages like it end up printed in court bundles, and what to write instead.
- The draft: angry, accurate, and completely useless
- The three texts that start fights: the accusation, the audit, and the one sent at 11pm
- The BIFF rule: brief, informative, friendly, firm, with real examples
- Switching to a co-parenting app and why it helped Devon more than his ex
- A listener voice note from Calgary: the text she did send, and what it cost
Next week: introducing a new partner to the kids, and to the other parent.
Transcript
Hi, I am Devon Whitfield, and this is The Handover at the School Gate, a show about co-parenting after separation for people who want to do it well and sometimes do not manage. I am a family mediator. I am also a divorced dad of two, and I want to start this first episode with something I am not proud of. In June 2021, after a handover that went badly, I typed a text message to my ex-wife. It was four paragraphs. It was angry. Most of it was true. I did not send it, and it is still in my drafts folder, and today I am going to read it to you. Then Anika Sorensen, a mediator I trust, will explain why messages like mine end up in court bundles, and what to write instead. You are listening on Witspeak Podcasts.
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