When She Earns More and His Mother Finds Out
A listener couple in Abuja write in: she was promoted, he is proud, his mother is worried. Tunde and Folake talk about money, pride and what Yoruba expectations do to a modern marriage.
Flatmates With a Marriage Certificate
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Show notes
Tonight after bedtime
No listener letter this week, because the topic is ours. In 2021 Tunde and Folake went nearly eight months as very efficient co-managers of a household and not much more. Tonight they say what that was like and what shifted.
- The signs: logistics-only conversations, separate phones at dinner, relief when the other travels
- Why this stretch is normal and why it is still dangerous
- Folake's one honest sentence that broke the silence
- Tunde on desire after children, and what he tells couples who think it is gone for good
- Three small weekly habits that worked for them, none of them date night
Next week: moving countries for a spouse's job and keeping your own name in the process.
Transcript
Welcome back to Same Bed, Different Blankets, I am Tunde, Folake is here, and tonight we are not reading a letter, because tonight is about us. In 2021 we had two small children, two demanding jobs, a generator that kept failing, and a marriage that had quietly turned into a very well-run company. We shared a bed. We shared a bank account. We shared a school run. We did not share much else for almost eight months. We were polite. That was the frightening part. Nobody was shouting, so nobody noticed. Tonight Folake is going to say what it felt like from her side, I will say what I was pretending not to see, and we will tell you the one sentence at the kitchen sink that changed it. You are listening on Witspeak Podcasts.
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